Here's To My Destiny

I was born to a poor family in a hot summer in Indiana in '88. My birth was a rough one and the doctor said I should have been stillborn and that I would have a rough mental journey ahead me... He was right. I've battled mood swings ever since I can first remember. I was only about 3 when I almost stepped into a pond because I thought it would calm me...I would be at peace with myself. No one ever knew my battles.

I kept quiet because I thought people would laugh at me and my problems, and just say it was all in my head and that I was making it all up. Yeah, it is all in my head and that's where my battles are fought...some days are better than others but that doesn't mean I don't struggle. Having mental health problems creates physical problems. Like when I forget to eat or crave sugar etc I end up anemic. When my anxiety kicks in I end up with chest pains. When I'm going through depression I gain weight and have all sorts of gut issues I wish I could see the last of. When I'm spacing out too much I forget to do the basic stuff everyone else does and end up feeling like hiding away forever. When I don't know what to say I don't have real conversations with people for like days at a shot. I'm basically a hermit who lives in town.

But someday this is all gonna make sense, and I'm gonna start seeing the good of it all one day.

Have problems too? Speak up. You're not alone.

So here's to my destiny. I'll battle forward and so can you.

Love you all,

Amber x